So I have started my quest. First mission is to quit smoking cigarettes. So far so good. The hardest part isn’t the physical cravings. Its the physiological feelings that are so overwhelming.
At one point I felt a strong feeling of missing smoking. Like the fact I would never do it again makes me miss it even though it doesn’t give me any satisfaction.
Other times I feel really depressed. The people around me even seem sadder and grumpy. I feel like it is all in my head but it seems real and is hard to overcome.
But with 2 days down that is over $3.00 saved and I do feel better.
In other news I am in pretty desperate need of some cash right now. I am running short on diabetes insulin pump supplies and need to reorder but my deductible is $500 plus the $240 co pay means I don’t have it.
Trying not to worry about it to much and just take it one day at a time. Try not to spend any money so I don’t make things worse. Not taking out loans even though that would alleviate the anxiety I feel right now. I need to dig myself out of that hole and just drop that habit.
You really shouldn’t borrow money unless you are using it for something you might be able to later call an asset. A house or starting a business are good things. Surviving day to day or having small pleasures like weekend trips are not good things to borrow money for.
Or anything like that really.
Instead of taking that route I am just going to suck it up. The worst that can happen is I go without my insulin pump for a few days and try to survive using good old fashioned needles.
Good night and see you tomorrow.